The Greatest of Heights: Fiona Apple’s ‘When the Pawn…’ (25th Anniversary)

Twenty-five years ago on November 9th, 1999 saw the release ‘When the Pawn…’ by Fiona Apple. We’re taking a look back at the power it holds and why it is still so relevant today.

Know Where You Stand

This standout masterpiece is Apple’s second studio album, following the remarkable ‘Tidal’. Undeniably, it is human nature to compare everything we see. However, Fiona Apple’s work escapes that instinct. Each and every project holds its own while creating its own stories within its concept. In addition, the ability to create such a captivating narrative is a credit to herself. Along with a family who are into the arts in one way or another, creativity is in her veins. While beginning as a classical piano player when she was just a child and composing her own music at the age of eight, soon after she discovered her love of jazz. The rest as they say was history.

‘When the Pawn…’ is an album that came completely from the brain of the talented singer. Accompanied by her singing is the production of Jon Brion. He is a talent who has worked with musicians from Elliott Smith to Mac Miller and even scored the soundtracks to ‘Synecdoche, New York’ and ‘Lady Bird‘. Consequently, the title emerged as a way of dealing with the distress she faced after seeing the letters sent to Spin responding to an already unfavourable article written about the singer. Whilst the full name of the LP is 444 characters long, it allowed her to say exactly what she thought of this article. Alongside this is the beauty that has come with the many different interpretations of the poem.

You Know Where to Land

Fiona Apple has the ability to move you in a way that makes you melancholic for every feeling you’ve ever felt and infuriated by anyone who has ever done wrong by you. Similarly, for me, my favourite genre of music has continuously been angry women telling the world exactly what they think. This is something that I feel most at home with in Apple’s music. Likewise, ‘When the Pawn…’ delivers some of the most hard-hitting lyrics, told so bravely and candidly. Equally, it comes with an understanding that people will perceive her in any way they want to no matter what she does. This is a feeling that all women have experienced in their lifetime, that you are existing through the eyes of someone else. I believe this is presented best in a quote by Margaret Atwood from ‘The Robber Bride’.

“Even pretending you aren’t catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you’re unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.”

Margaret Atwood – The Robber Bride

Correspondingly, this topic is explored often in her work, drawn from her own experience with assault and poor relationships. In spite of this, there is power in taking back that narrative, to exist despite negative words that are thrown against you. Just like being crazy is actually just sharing your true feelings and being difficult is really just finding your voice to speak out.

Hold Your Own Hand

In Particular, ‘Paper Bag’ is a track that suffocates you with the feeling of anger and misunderstanding. It’s merely taking its foot off your neck to let you breathe in the severity of how badly she wants a man who has conviction. “He said “it’s all in your head,” / And I said, “So’s everything” but he didn’t get it.” It is a line that has run through my mind at least once a day since I first heard it. Indeed, it is brutal realisation that the person you want is not mature enough to understand you. Not only is it relating back to her own insecurities and difficulties with mental health, but the claim that it is only real in her head. Furthermore, his lack of empathy cannot see further than this.

Without a doubt, this line has always hit me the hardest. Apple is openly discussing her own struggles with OCD, something that I myself deal with. It is honest with the reality that these feelings and compulsions live solely in your head. That is the most terrifying part of it all.

Along with this are other notable tracks on the album. ‘Fast As You Can’, with its almost Whiplash-esque (Dir. Damien Chazelle) introduction and a music video directed by her former partner Paul Thomas Anderson. As well, the two final tracks on the album, ‘Get Gone’ and ‘I Know’, encapsulate the anger and vulnerability of the project. They are much like a mirror to the previously mentioned ‘Fast As You Can’. It is shining a spotlight on her own faults in a toxic relationship. Meanwhile, ‘Get Gone’ magnifies all her partner’s issues. As a result of this we see the progression of Apple realising that no matter what she does for this man, she will never be his top priority. This leads to the conclusion that she should become her own.

Nevertheless, this heavier track flows seamlessly into the unarmed ‘I Know’. Despite their different pacing and changes in topics, the two tunes share an intimacy that serves up two complete ends of love. Meanwhile, it highlights simultaneously existing in a world where both can be felt together. Both anguish and lust are two of the heaviest feelings one can have. This is always the case, whether at the breakdown of a relationship or the bitterness of being the other woman.

‘I Know’ closes out this album perfectly. Lyrics like, “And you’ve early closed your curtains / I’ll wait by the backstage door.”, speak metaphorically about a dishonest life and escape route. In addition, it shows that even though the curtains on this project have closed, parts of her wait in the wings. These will be reliving the stories she bares on the record. This is in a similar fashion to a ghost haunting the theatre.

Your Mind is Your Might

Ultimately, there is an angst in her work that resonates in me like nothing else I have heard. Whether that be her honesty about her struggles with mental health or my ability to recognise myself in her anger, Fiona Apple continues to be a pillar to lean upon.

It is important to note that Apple has stated that she does not write about the trauma surrounding her assault. Equally, in that same tone, no one is defined by those experiences. However, she has used her platform to create a safe space for people who have experienced similar things. Frankly, this is so important when we think about the world right now. There is no doubt that this planet is currently swallowed by fear and an unknowing of what’s to come. Above all, in times like these, it is paramount that you hold your power and use it. ‘When the Pawn…’ is a timeless example of wielding this power to do great.

You can listen to ‘When the Pawn…’ below. You can also read more anniversary pieces like this one here.

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